In case there is any confusion, this is the Alan Bryant born, raised and currently residing in College Station, Texas. He's 29 and works for Empire Systems Group writing software for insurance companies. His email address is

Alan's life is best summed up in this document, written shortly after his graduation from high school:

Alan Douglas Bryant was conceived at a wild New Year's Eve party on Dec. 31, 1967.  His experience with computers began in April, 1968, when his mother swallowed a digital watch which had been baked in a pumpkin pie. Always a precocious child, Alan not only repaired the watch, he actually used the spare parts to build an FM radio with quadraphonic sound and a laser show.

Alan was born on Sept. 30, 1968.  He was kicked out of St. Joseph's Hospital shortly after his birth, because he had converted a nurse's hairdryer into a 350 horsepower motorcycle, then roared up and down the maternity ward, disturbing the other children.  His relations with authority figures has followed this pattern throughout his life.

Alan spoke three languages at birth (Basic, Forth, and C), but he quickly picked up several others.  He did not learn English until seventh grade, when he had a cute English teacher.  He still has not learned to spell, preferring to use the spelling checker on his computer.

Alan has an immediate grasp of mathematical concepts ranging from geometry to number theory.  After completing a course in differential equations in the first grade, he picked up easy money writing blistering criticisms of the works of Newton and Gauss.  His interest in math dwindled in the second grade, when he discovered easier money breaking into bank's computers.

Alan has been a strange character throughout his life.  He often goes quite mad for days at a time, insisting that he is a dog named Rowfe (pronounced Wrouphiee).  He presently resides under Billy Goat Bridge at Dexter park with a troll named Smith.  His hobbies include photography, computer programming, finding prime numbers, reading Douglas Adams books, eating pizza, and lying.

This is mostly accurate, but the last paragraph is a bit dated... I gave up on the prime number thing after reaching about 1,999,993 on my XT. I turned my attention to pi and e and got 40,000 digits of each; later I calculated the number from Hitchhikers, the infamous 2^276701, which is about 80,000 digits. I abandoned impressive number calculations after Mathematica became widely available, since anyone could do it then. Besides, although you'd think girls would flock to guys who had big numbers, in fact it rarely impressed them to hear that I had a 50 page printout of pi back in my apartment.